Led by the Holy Spirit

Likening chapter 4 of the first book of Nephi

1 Nephi 4:1

And it came to pass that I spake unto my brethren, saying: Let us go up again unto Jerusalem, and let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord; for behold he is mightier than all the earth, then why not mightier than Laban and his fifty, yea, or even than his tens of thousands?

Once again, Nephi encouraged his brothers to follow the Lord and believe that anything is possible for the Almighty God, who is mightier than any one. Personally, I have seen His powerful hand bless me, and also many others. I have been guided by His Spirit, just like Nephi did, and have been able to navigate through difficult times and misfortunes with the assurance that God is always there to help.

I have experienced some mighty miracles in my life. His interventions have been evident many times. There were even moments when unbelievers around me noticed that there was an invisible force working for me.

After just a month of being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I realized that I had changed more than I ever thought I would be able to in my life. My mind had changed, and my ability to interact with people had improved. My hopes were greater and my happiness more steadfast. I began to consider life as a great adventure, full of opportunities to seize. I was able to express myself with much more confidence, and I felt the love of God continually.

I remember thinking it was a miracle in my case because of so many unsuccessful attempts to be agreeable to others. Prior to my baptism, I had become very cynical, and I didn’t think I was able to change my attitude about so many things. But I had already become a better man, and this happened within just a month. Even so, my family started to notice it too, and my friends couldn’t recognize me. They were worried that I had been brainwashed. I told them that it was perhaps necessary.

Due to the undeniable presence of God in my life and the profound impact of His wisdom and guidance, I can no longer ignore His existence. It was through experiencing His mighty hand that I truly started to believe in God. His divine intervention has rescued me many times from spiritual, psychological, and physical perils.

1 Nephi 4:2

Therefore let us go up; let us be strong like unto Moses; for he truly spake unto the waters of the Red Sea and they divided hither and thither…

In February 1999, after serving as a missionary for nine months, during a worldwide satellite broadcast, our beloved prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, made the following statement:

“Last year there were approximately 300,000 convert baptisms throughout the Church. This is tremendously significant. This is the equivalent of 120 new stakes of 2,500 members each. Think of that: 120 new stakes in a single year! It is wonderful. But it is not enough. I am not being unrealistic when I say that with concerted effort, with recognition of the duty which falls upon each of us as members of the Church, and with sincere prayer to the Lord for help, we could double that number.”

This powerful statement left a deep impression on my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I constantly questioned how I could become a better missionary.

By early July of the same year, after having remained in Libby, Montana for some time, my companion and I received news that neither of us was being transferred. New missionaries arrived every four weeks and needed to be paired with more experienced companions for training. Existing teams were also regularly rearranged, and missionaries were shifted to different areas throughout the mission. Each transfer day was a mix of anticipation and apprehension. We had been together for four months, my companion and I, and I was anticipating a transfer. However, since it didn’t happen, I began to contemplate how I could improve my work. The counsel to make “concerted efforts” remained on my mind for a time. Then it became clear to me that I needed to learn how to work more effectively with local members and guide them in doing missionary work.

Other missionaries in my district had recently proposed using the announcement of the new Spokane, Washington temple as an opportunity to encourage members to invite their friends to attend the open house scheduled before its dedication in late August. We urged the members to invite their friends and bring them to Spokane, a three-hour drive away, to visit the new temple. We prepared the invitations, discussed the plan frequently, made some goals, and invited both members and non-members to attend the open house.

Something remarkable occurred during this time: we discovered the power of “concerted efforts” as both missionaries and local members worked together. The Spirit of God was with us, and we all experienced a sense of joy. After the open house, we continued to think about other ways to invite members to participate in the missionary effort, encouraging members to pray and invite their friends to hear the Gospel.

My companion was eventually transferred out of the area. I remained and became a zone leader. I exhorted all the missionaries in my zone to set goals for working with members and finding people to teach. We set a goal to double our baptisms that year and prayed for guidance from the Spirit of God. We shared our vision with the local church leaders, supported with the statement made by our prophet, and started working more closely.

Towards the end of the year, during a meeting with all the missionaries in my zone, we collectively reviewed the progress of the individuals we were teaching. We discussed those who had the potential to be baptized by the year’s end. It became evident that the Elders in Bonners Ferry, Idaho, were lacking sufficient individuals seriously interested in the Gospel to reach our target. I advised them to pray for divine guidance in finding a family of five people, insisting that this was essential to double their baptisms. In time, they were able to locate and baptize that family before the year concluded.

I emphasized the importance of the numbers, but they weren’t the sole focus. The numbers were there to guide us in understanding the extent of the work that needed to be accomplished and to offer us a shared vision for discussion. The ultimate goal was to lead as many people as possible to Christ through baptism.

By December of that same year, we had indeed doubled our baptisms for the entire zone. We were all filled with happiness. We had started the year as the lowest-baptizing zone in the mission and ended it as the best. The other missionaries in my zone made me realize what a significant accomplishment it was, and they were very proud of me as their leader, but I knew that it was the work of the Lord.

I learned that year how efficient we may become in the Lord’s work listening to the living prophet and following the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

1 Nephi 4:3

Now behold ye know that this is true; and ye also know that an angel hath spoken unto you; wherefore can ye doubt? Let us go up; the Lord is able to deliver us, even as our fathers…

Please believe me when I say that the Lord has the power to assist in our challenges, just as He did for me and countless others. He responded to my prayers and provided inspiration on numerous occasions, helping me understand the truth of the Book of Mormon, guiding me through tough situations, and even rescuing me from circumstances I could not handle on my own.

As you may already know if you’re familiar with me (or if you’ve read the beginning of this book), I experienced a severe car accident at the age of seven that left me partially paralyzed. Consequently, it has been exceedingly challenging for me to navigate my life while striving for success in my endeavors. Because I was a car accident victime, I thought I could receive some help from the insurance state company, but when I required support to continue my education after college since I couldn’t work and study full time without exhausting myself, my insurance agent explained that he couldn’t take any action because I had demonstrated my ability to function normally by returning to school as a child. He informed me that the only way to receive assistance was to establish medically that my condition had significantly worsened.

By the end of 1992, my physiatrist conducted a medical assessment to justify the deterioration of my condition over time. I hired a lawyer whom I couldn’t afford much, and who couldn’t achieve much either in terms of assistance. In the spring of 1993, I received $600 from the insurance company, which I used to travel to the West Coast with some friends. Eventually, I became homeless and ended up in the USA.

Upon my return to Canada, my father took me to a specialist who had the bright idea to perform an X-ray. The results confirmed that I had been walking for an unknown period with a dislocated hip, explaining the systematic pain I endured. In August 1994, I underwent surgery to secure my hip in place, just above the pelvic socket. At the time, medical authorities were unable to explain how my hip had become dislocated, as it had gone unnoticed during my accident. Some suggested it might be a personal condition, a congenital issue from birth. However, after the operation, my orthopedist informed me that it was evident it was a post-trauma condition. I later asked him to document this in a report.

Thinking that I finally had the evidence needed to substantiate a relapse, I approached my insurance agent for assistance. Instead, I received a letter stating that the specialists had concluded that my issues were attributed to a personal condition. This was not true, of course, but since they had made their decision, I was left to prove otherwise.

In 1995, I sought the counsel of another attorney who referred me to a medical expert. They requested that I gather all the available medical records from the hospital archives where I had been treated following the accident. Our goal was to find evidence that my hip had become dislocated during the accident and not prior to it. However, we couldn’t locate any mention of the hip in the records. There was only one X-ray of my pelvis, but it was difficult to discern my skeletal structure due to the substantial amount of blood in my body after my spleen had ruptured. We were left with no clues about the condition of my hip.

Due to my financial constraints and being on welfare, both my attorney and the specialist halted their efforts after determining that they had done all they could with the $1,000 allocated by the government for my case. Feeling discouraged and having exhausted all available options, I made the decision to abandon the pursuit of legal action against the government for their unfair decision. I resolved to continue following the same approach I had always adopted in my life, striving to do my best and seeking success through my own talents and efforts.

When I chose to enter into the waters of baptism, I placed my wavering faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, recognizing my own limitations in managing life, I leaned on the belief that Christ had the power to reshape my character and guide me toward personal improvement. My past sins weighed heavily on me, yet, in accordance with the promise, the Holy Spirit that enveloped me after my baptism brought a profound inner peace. Moreover, I received blessings of understanding and heightened spiritual awareness. My capacity for love and empathy expanded, and I maintained trust that, with God’s assistance, I could attain success in life despite the challenges posed by my physical condition.

1 Nephi 4:4

Now when I had spoken these words, they were yet wroth, and did still continue to murmur; nevertheless they did follow me up until we came without the walls of Jerusalem.

No one can compel another to change. People must choose to change for themselves; however, we can certainly exert influence and inspire others to change. This is the transformative work that Christ does within us. The Holy Spirit inspires followers of Christ to choose the right path. Individuals are then either transformed by the Spirit as they follow Christ, or not, if they choose not to do so. The Holy Spirit can indeed bring about transformation, but not without our willingness.

My missionary service was undeniably one of these transformative journeys that the Lord inspired me to embark upon. Through this experience, the Lord revealed to me that I had the capacity to become a better man, and I recognized that it was through His inspiration and grace that I had grown more like Him. It stands as one of the best decisions of my life. However, my family didn’t initially view it the same way. I was going to leave work and family, and it scared them. I had to explain to my mother, father, and grandmother even, that I believed God had helped me secure a good job.

Two years after my baptism, no longer on welfare programs, I was finally employed at the Bank of Montreal, initially as a phone agent and later as a clerk, handling transactions for customers and contributing to the enhancement of operational processes and services.

By 1998, I had completed two full years at the bank and had saved enough money to embark on a two-year mission. My close relationships and siblings were deeply concerned that I might lose a solid position and never have another opportunity like it. I hadn’t finished my bachelor’s degree, and my physical condition made it challenging for me to secure a good job or study full time. They attempted to dissuade me from going.

I assured my mother that since God had guided me to where I was at that point in my life, I was confident He would continue to guide me after my mission, especially after dedicating two years in His service. And indeed, He did, repeatedly, even until now, twenty-five years later. Now my close ones see that the hand of the Lord has blessed me throughout my life.

1 Nephi 4:5-6

And it was by night; and I caused that they should hide themselves without the walls. And after they had hid themselves, I, Nephi, crept into the city and went forth towards the house of Laban.

And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do.

I learned to rely on the Lord, much like Nephi did. Nephi’s unwavering trust in divine guidance allowed him to be ready for any task the Lord asked of him.

In 1995, I didn’t know which direction to take in my life, but I had a dream in which my father told me to study industrial mathematics. I didn’t have much self-esteem then. I was 22 years old. I had just undergone hip surgery and was walking with crutches. I was living on social assistance and couldn’t find a job suitable for my very limited abilities. I wasn’t sure what I could do to earn a living due to my disability. I had faced several failures. The prospects didn’t seem very encouraging to me. But since I was good at mathematics in school, I looked for various university programs in mathematics, keeping in mind the dream I had. We didn’t have the internet back then like today, and it wasn’t as easy as it is now to get information.

I went to the orienteer office at the closest university to get program guides from different universities and looked for what was offered in industrial mathematics, but I didn’t find anything really relevant. Industrial mathematics wasn’t a discipline labeled as such at any university. I understood that at the University of Sherbrooke, the program was industry-oriented, but without really knowing, it was difficult to get a clear idea of what I should study.

Anyhow, I managed to find a full-time job at the Bank of Montreal to pay off all my student debts and save $10,000 for my mission. Away on my mission, I met a bishop who worked from home in northern Idaho. He was a computer engineer. I was very good at computers, so I thought that might be an avenue for me.

After my mission in 2000, I found myself at a crossroads again, uncertain about my life’s direction. Yet, I held firm to the belief that God would guide me, just as He had done so far throughout my journey—from baptism to the end of my mission.

On the flight back from my mission to Montreal, I was sitting next to a man in a wheelchair who was doing mathematics. Interested, I asked him what his profession was, and he replied that he was an engineer. It was very encouraging for me, and I considered this as a sign that I could do this kind of work.

I returned to work at the Bank of Montreal and started college studies in computer science; but I thought I was wasting my time at college. So I dropped the program to rather enroll in university. I called the École Polytechnique de Montréal to ask if I could enroll in their computer engineering program, but they told me I had to have done my college studies in pure sciences. I had only taken human sciences and mathematics in college. They made it clear that I didn’t have what it took.

Disappointed, I abandoned the idea of studying computer science. I left my job at the bank in Montreal and enrolled in a bachelor’s degree in teaching in Rimouski for the fall of 2001. I had fervently prayed on my mission to become a seminary instructor one day and had really felt that Heavenly Father heard me. Reading the information from the Church Educational System (at that time, I had access to the internet), I learned that to become a seminary instructor, a bachelor’s degree in any discipline was required to undergo instructor training. I thought that since I had a real talent for teaching in the Church, I could hope to become a good teacher. I chose a teaching program for children with difficulties. My goal was to help disabled children succeed in their studies.

I loved my teaching studies at the Université du Québec à Rimouski. I also liked my cohort. We did great activities together, but I often saw a group of students working together on their mathematics in the cafeteria. It was a very diverse group, and they seemed to get along well. They were part of the bachelor’s degree in computer science.

At the end of my first teaching internship in a primary school in Matane, during my second semester in the spring of 2002, my internship supervisor strongly discouraged me from pursuing teaching due to my disability and difficulties moving around. She made it clear that I wasn’t in the right place in a school, and I mostly understood that it would be difficult for me to work in a school every day, and especially to be accepted by other teachers, and even more so by parents. It hit me hard. I remember, I was on the bus between Matane and Rimouski, thinking about the bachelor’s degree in computer science, and I asked God (in prayer in my heart) if it was a good idea for me to study computer science; the Spirit immediately confirmed to me that it was the right direction to take: I felt an intense warmth in my heart confirming that it was the right choice for me. I knew this feeling very well, this divine feeling that guided me several times to accept the Gospel, join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and choose the path of discipleship.

I inquired about the computer science program and the prerequisites for enrollment. I was only missing one mathematics course. I went to meet the program director to ask if he would credit me for the first programming course, given the courses I had very successfully completed at college. He told me to enroll in the second programming course, which he was teaching himself during the summer, saying that if I passed the second course, he would have no problem crediting me for the first. The director later became a true friend.

I announced to my program director in teaching that I was leaving his program and heading towards computer science. He was devastated because I was a good student. He tried to dissuade me and told me not to listen to the teacher who had supervised my internship, but the Spirit had been very clear with me, and my decision was made.

I achieved the best results in the programming class that summer and started my studies in the bachelor’s degree in computer science in the fall of 2002. On the recommendation of my new director, I took an intensive catch-up course in mathematics, as my courses had been taken several years earlier.

I completed my bachelor’s degree in 2005. My director moved me to Montreal at the end of spring to pursue a master’s degree in computer science at Université du Québec à Montréal. But I had hip surgery in November and had to abandon my studies to focus on my rehabilitation throughout 2006. I returned to my studies in the winter of 2007 using an electric scooter.

During my master’s studies, I took software engineering courses that were very useful later in my career. These courses, in addition to the expertise I developed during my research, allowed me to find and keep good positions at work.

One thing leading to another, I developed, thanks to God, an expertise recognized by my peers and the industry in business analysis, process modeling and software architecture. I worked on projects and models to understand and improve not just IT solutions, but entire organizations.

On day, I was talking with a neighbor who lives in the building where I live. We had invited him and his spouse to come watch a video about the Nativity. During the discussion, we talked about what I do for work. And we realized that I do the same job he did before retirement. That’s when I asked him, out of curiosity, what training he had followed to start his career in this field, because business analysis is a fairly recent job. He told me he had studied industrial engineering. I immediately made the connection with the inspiration to study industrial mathematics that I received in my dream in 1995, and it reassured me about the professional path I ultimately chose to take.

Moreover, in my patriarchal blessing that I received in 1995, the Lord revealed to me that I would be “an organizer.” It really surprised me at the time because I felt so disorganized. I always kept this prophecy in mind and sought to improve continuously at Church, at the bank, on my mission, during my studies, at work, etc.

The patriarch blessed me to succeed in this manner: “Be faithful and you will resist temptations, you will be a guide, an organizer for your brothers and sisters. How amazed they will be at your knowledge.”

I really think this prophecy is fulfilled. I now work to direct a team that helps my organization clarify its operations, business model, rules, policies, and operations, contributing to IT projects and digital transformations. I train and I guide my team members to improve in theory and practice.

The Lord has guided me all these years. He has taken me by the hand and brought me back repeatedly to the path He planned for me long before I was even born. I am fulfilling His purpose. It is encouraging for me to see that I am still on His path and also to see that despite my desires and deviations, or my weaknesses, obstacles, and life’s challenges, persecutions, illness, disability: He has the power, intelligence, and strength to keep me on the path to success and salvation.

We should never despair and loose trust in the Lord. He takes us by the hand and leads us where He wants us to be. We should stay faithful and trust God because He intends to do everything for us to succeed in life.

It’s not easy to understand and see clearly the direction to take in life. The right information doesn’t always come when we need it; discouragement sometimes paralyzes us; adversity prevents us from doing God’s will, or doubt; but God has His hands outstretched to bring us back and help us succeed.

I can honestly say that “I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do.”

1 Nephi 4:7-8

Nevertheless I went forth, and as I came near unto the house of Laban I beheld a man, and he had fallen to the earth before me, for he was drunken with wine.

And when I came to him I found that it was Laban.

Nephi was wandering in the dark streets of the city of Jerusalem, but “nevertheless [he] went forth”, trusting in the Lord as he made his way towards the house of Laban. He had the right attitude to have when things seem hard to accomplish, not knowing exactly what to do: going forward with faith in the Lord. And he found exactly what he was looking for: Laban lying down helpless in front of him.

How often in my life has the Lord put the right circumstances on my path to solve big problems, even insurmountable ones. While waiting upon the hand of God, I had to keep moving. I struggled with fears, discouragement, fatigue, and paralysis; nevertheless I went forth, and I found divine help on my path on numerous occasions.

While studying computer science in Rimouski as a single adult at thirty years old and with a disability, I began to feel stressed about finding a soulmate. I was studying most of the time or working on university projects, and to make things harder, I wanted her to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There were only a few of us attending our small branch in Rimouski.

I prayed to God, expressing my concerns not just about love but also about my bad hip and my difficulties. On January 13th, 2002, I listened to a talk given by Elder Richard G. Scott, one of the Twelve Apostles at the time. I had written him a letter the same day he gave his talk to the young adults, telling him I trusted he would answer my concerns in his talk that very night, and he surely did, being inspired by the Lord.

Here is an excerpt from the letter I wrote:

“I live now in Rimouski, which is a city of about 30,000 souls. We are between 15 and 20 active members in our small branch. I left Montreal City where there are institute, the temple and many church services, to come here at the university. I chose to come here because my mother lives close by and because I prefer small institutes. I was also tired of the big city and wanted some peace after the girl I loved said no to my offer. Some say that I acted foolishly. They may be true but I really felt prompted to leave and come here. Now was I inspired of the right spirit? I hope so. Here the chances I meet a Latter-day Saint girl are very few and I can’t help it but think of all the times I have been approached by some girls and didn’t act. I know that I have not done everything in my power to love and invite a daughter of my Heavenly Father to the holy altar; so I start to have real concerns about my eternal exaltation. I rejected the holy order of matrimony by acting foolishly too often.

“I have also been caught in the trap of being too busy with many things, including serving faithfully in the church, to get close to a girl and go out with some. That was another way of escaping my duty to marry. The mission was one, and now schooling is another. These are really good things. I found myself now at 30 years old. Not married. Beginning a bachelor’s degree. Poor like Job. Physically tired of life because of pain from a dislocated hip that I got from a car accident. And lonely.

“I feel like I started my life again too many times and that it begins to look like I will stay single all my life. This is my greatest fear. On the other hand, my greatest fear is also to make the life of my companion miserable because of my sins and my worries and my handicap and my bad temper. Sometimes I just think I should stay like this and die like this in old age but then it will really be that I chose deliberately to forsake exaltation.”

At the beginning of his talk that evening, Elder Scott asked two questions:

“Do you feel overwhelmed, wondering if you can make the correct choices, uncertain of how to proceed? Does trying your best not seem to be good enough? I understand what you are going through”—He got my attention.

He then shared with us an inspiration he received as a young adult. It was the solution he found that helped him cope with his worrying to the point of illness.

“I was prompted to divide mentally—and physically, where possible—all of the challenges, tasks, and assignments given to me into two categories. All of the things for which I felt responsibility but for which I could do nothing to resolve I put in a basket called ‘worry.’ Then all of those things for which I had some ability to control or resolve I put into a basket called ‘concern.’ I realized I could not resolve those things in the worry basket, so I tried hard to forget them. Later in the process I learned that putting them into the worry basket didn’t mean they wouldn’t be taken care of. They were resolved by those who could best handle them—and most often that was the Lord Himself. The items in the concern basket were ordered in priority. I conscientiously tried to resolve them to the best of my ability. Although I could not always fulfill all of them on schedule or to the degree of competence I desired, I did my conscientious best.”

I did exactly as Elder Scott suggested. I started to make a list of all the things that stressed me out, all the things I was worried about, and all the things that were causing me to suffer. On the list were my dysfunctional hip, the fact that I was still single, the insurance company that didn’t want to admit that my condition was caused by the accident, and more. I put everything I could think of on that list. Then I considered each problem and divided them into two categories: the things I had no control over went on the “worry” side, and the things I thought I could do something about went on the “concern” side. Then I prayed to ask God to take care of the worry side for me and to help me work on the concern side. It helped a great deal to feel at peace. Then I forgot about the list.

A few years later, while living in my own home in Laval, Québec, having a hip replacement, being married and with a baby, I came across that list for the first time since I had written it.

I started looking at the list, and I was stunned to realize that all the problems I had written in the worry basket were taken care of by the Lord. All of them. None were left. Even the insurmountable problem with the insurance company was resolved. The insurance company admitted my condition and compensated me for all the years I didn’t receive any annuities. I received enough money to buy a small house just before my marriage. It was a miracle. I had hired lawyers and consulted specialists who were helpless in my case. Yet, it was all taken care of.

Then I went over the concern basked, which was mine, and I noticed that I was still struggling with most of the problems in there. Realizing that the Lord was more efficient than me, I decided to transfer some of the problems I had been struggling with for a long time to His side. Then I thanked Him for what He was doing for me. That list made me realize how faithfully He cares for us.

1 Nephi 4:9-13

And I beheld his sword, and I drew it forth from the sheath thereof; and the hilt thereof was of pure gold, and the workmanship thereof was exceedingly fine, and I saw that the blade thereof was of the most precious steel.

And it came to pass that I was constrained by the Spirit that I should kill Laban; but I said in my heart: Never at any time have I shed the blood of man. And I shrunk and would that I might not slay him.

And the Spirit said unto me again: Behold the Lord hath delivered him into thy hands…

And it came to pass that the Spirit said unto me again: Slay him, for the Lord hath delivered him into thy hands;

Behold the Lord slayeth the wicked to bring forth his righteous purposes. It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief.

Nephi was constrained by the Spirit to do something very hard. He didn’t want to kill a man. He had never done such a thing in his life. And this may seem to us something very hard to conceive: that God would ask a man to kill another.

Please note that we are reading the words of a man who lived 600 years B.C., in a time and place where people seemed to kill each other with more frequency than what we may witness in our part of the world. Laban just attempted to kill Nephi and his brothers, and he succeeded to steal their property. Lehi had to leave with his family to hide in the desert to save himself from being killed. Apparently, murdering each other may have been a more convenient practice at Jerusalem at that time than what we may think. But even so, how could a just God require Nephi to kill Laban?

Nephi’s experience highlights the profound struggle between divine command and personal morality. His initial reluctance to kill Laban reflects his deep respect for life and discomfort with taking a life, underscoring the gravity of the divine directive he received. The Spirit’s message revealed a broader purpose: the preservation of a nation through the acquisition of the brass plates, which contained vital genealogical and scriptural records crucial to Nephi’s people’s spiritual and cultural survival.

Despite his reservations, Nephi’s decision to obey illustrates remarkable faith and trust in God’s plan, even when it seemed incomprehensible. This act of obedience was a profound test of his commitment to divine purposes. It also reflects the belief that God’s authority, as the ultimate moral justification, transcends human understanding, affirming His omniscience and wisdom in commanding actions that may appear morally perplexing.

In 2008, while I was studying part time to complete a master’s degree in computer science, I went through a difficult period, experiencing discouragement at school and frustration with my declining physical condition. Being declared invalid by government authorities, I was tempted to quit university and abandon hope of returning to full-time work. Having received annuities for almost a year, I began to consider staying at home, finding a good cause, and doing voluntary work as much as I could. However, this was not the Lord’s plan for me.

I was exhausted most of the time, struggling with pain and fatigue. While trying out new treatments and medications, none of which worked as hoped. I started to desire rest and to accept my condition as it was. The idea of staying at home and taking care of what I could was a relief. Doctors, specialists, family members, and friends all helped me reconsider my life, especially since I had a regular income assured. Even though it wasn’t much, combined with my wife’s salary, it was enough to meet our needs. Still, the unpleasant thought that my future kids might be shy one day to tell others that their dad was at home and invalid lingered in my mind.

I began to think that I should stop being so stubborn and prideful, insisting on being the provider for my family. I wondered if I was wrong to believe I could go back to work someday; and despite being only in my mid-thirties, I felt old and truly desired to rest.

Just when this thought started to feel right, I had a revelation during a stake priesthood conference. I was strongly and divinely admonished to keep studying and prepare to return to full-time work. When I felt the Spirit enticing me, without any words, what I should do, and realizing that I was wrong to think I should stay home and stop fighting, tears rushed down my face. It was incredibly painful to think of all the hardship I was going through and that it wasn’t the end.

As I contemplated the idea of working full-time one day and wondered how I could manage it, I realized that the only way I could do so would be by using an electric wheelchair full-time. I then had a silent conversation with God, promising that I would return to work as He was guiding me to, even if it meant sitting in a wheelchair. My eyes were filled with tears even more, but my mind was set. Though I knew it would be painful, I had made my decision to obey the counsel of the Lord.

I continued studying part-time and obtained my master’s degree in 2011, then I started working full-time as a specialist in the technology I used during my research. It was one of the best thing that could have happened to me career-wise.

As I write these words (2024), I’ve managed to stay out of a wheelchair, but I use an electric scooter to go to the office two to three times a week, and I’m fine with that.

1 Nephi 4:14-17

And now, when I, Nephi, had heard these words, I remembered the words of the Lord which he spake unto me in the wilderness, saying that: Inasmuch as thy seed shall keep my commandments, they shall prosper in the land of promise.

Yea, and I also thought that they could not keep the commandments of the Lord according to the law of Moses, save they should have the law.

And I also knew that the law was engraven upon the plates of brass.

And again, I knew that the Lord had delivered Laban into my hands for this cause—that I might obtain the records according to his commandments.

During my master’s degree, I received inspiration to take a class in software engineering. The Spirit helped me understand why I needed this class, reminding me of my goal to start a business someday. I felt that it would be valuable for my future endeavors. So, I enrolled in a software requirements specification class, trusting in the Lord that it would be useful one day.

Needless to say, this single class shaped my career as a business analyst, an entrepreneur, and now as a director of a team of business analysts. The techniques I learned in that class still serve me today.

When I started my professional career after graduation, I was able to accept roles that allowed me to demonstrate the value I could bring to software development projects. I was well-prepared. Before long, I took the lead in development teams, offering valuable insights and best practices. People trusted me, and the good Lord blessed me with success.

When I took that class, I had no idea what direction my professional career would take or how much I would end up needing it. The professor assigned us a book that discussed business analysis as an emerging field. I remember reading the description of the skills essential for the role and thinking that I would be a good fit for the job.

I am grateful that I responded positively to that prompting. I am deeply thankful to have been guided by the Lord’s hand throughout these years, helping me discover a career path where I could excel and find success.

1 Nephi 4:18-19

Therefore I did obey the voice of the Spirit, and took Laban by the hair of the head, and I smote off his head with his own sword.

And after I had smitten off his head with his own sword, I took the garments of Laban and put them upon mine own body; yea, even every whit; and I did gird on his armor about my loins.

After finishing my graduate studies, I went to work full-time. I obeyed the voice of the Spirit, and truly, I experienced great success.

Since then, and even before graduating, I have had many opportunities to work as a computer scientist, analyst, developer and consultant. Remarkably, I never had to actively search for a job. Each time, someone reached out to me through online networks or personal connections to offer a position. The only exception might be the last job I took as a manager.

Initially, I applied for a different position. Some time after the interview, I received a phone call from human resources telling me they no longer needed to fulfill the position. I was a business architect at the time and I figured out it wasn’t time for me to become a director. A few months later, circumstances had changed. The principal director called me personally and explained that they no longer needed a director for business architecture. Instead, he asked if I would take on a role as the director of business analysis. He needed my help to build a new team. I told him it aligned well with my strengths and expertise, so I gladly accepted.

Since then, I have embraced this new managerial role. Instead of producing value directly myself, I now focus on helping others succeed—and I truly enjoy it.

1 Nephi 4:20-23

And after I had done this… as I went forth towards the treasury of Laban, behold, I saw the servant of Laban who had the keys of the treasury. And I commanded him in the voice of Laban, that he should go with me into the treasury.

And he supposed me to be his master, Laban, for he beheld the garments and also the sword girded about my loins.

And he spake unto me concerning the elders of the Jews, he knowing that his master, Laban, had been out by night among them.

And I spake unto him as if it had been Laban.

The Holy Spirit speaks to us as if He were our Father in Heaven, and we recognize His voice. We can feel the Father’s love when the Spirit communicates with us and intervenes in our lives to guide us, testifying of Jesus, the Son of God, and encouraging us to follow His teachings.

I wonder if Zoram (the servant of Laban) felt something reassuring when he followed Nephi into the dark of night. Or was he frightened instead? What was it like to be a servant of Laban, anyway? He was probably not happy with his situation, as he later accepted Nephi’s offer to join them in the wilderness as a free man.

When the missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints came to my home for the first time, the love I felt was powerful and divine. It was stronger than anything I had experienced before in my entire life. I was just 21 years old and not very experienced with spiritual matters at the time, but I could recognize the peace and love of God when I felt it. Later, I wished I could become more like them: full of the Spirit and love.

I believe that Zoram felt the Spirit of God when he led Nephi to the treasury of his master, as it was the will of the Lord that he do so. I, too, have felt reassured by the Spirit many times—especially while studying with the Elders and learning a new faith. The influence of the Spirit and their encouragement helped me embrace the true Gospel of Jesus Christ.

1 Nephi 4:24-27

And I also spake unto him that I should carry the engravings, which were upon the plates of brass, to my elder brethren, who were without the walls.

And I also bade him that he should follow me.

And he, supposing that I spake of the brethren of the church, and that I was truly that Laban whom I had slain, wherefore he did follow me.

And he spake unto me many times concerning the elders of the Jews, as I went forth unto my brethren, who were without the walls.

The fact that Nephi mentioned Zoram speaking “many times” about the elders of the Jews while they were marching together may indicate that he was nervous about the situation. Perhaps he was already anxious of being in the presence of Laban, as he believed, and this is what made him unable to discern Nephi’s voice as distinct from his master’s.

Once again, I imagine that Zoram felt the Holy Spirit while in Nephi’s presence. I also believe the Spirit may have inspired Nephi to know what to say to calm his companion. Similarly, the missionaries who taught me seemed to know what to say. Their words and the Scriptures we studied together inspired me to become a better man.

At first, I was nervous about this new Church and its new doctrines. But as I studied the Book of Mormon and the Bible with them, I could feel the Spirit reassuring me again and again. I was blessed with new knowledge and a stronger faith. Visiting with the saints at Church brought even more love and confidence into my life. The love of God grew stronger within me, and I felt an abundance of it to share with others. I began to speak the word of God with assurance and started teaching my friends and family.

Over time, I became fully converted to the true Gospel of Jesus-Christ accompanied by a pure spirit of strength and love through my association with the missionaries and the saints.

1 Nephi 4:28-30

And it came to pass that when Laman saw me he was exceedingly frightened, and also Lemuel and Sam. And they fled from before my presence; for they supposed it was Laban, and that he had slain me and had sought to take away their lives also.

And it came to pass that I called after them, and they did hear me; wherefore they did cease to flee from my presence.

And it came to pass that when the servant of Laban beheld my brethren he began to tremble, and was about to flee from before me and return to the city of Jerusalem.

Unfortunately, many new converts to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as well as strong, long-standing members, sometimes get scared and are caught off guard by something they didn’t know before. This can lead to disappointment and even push them away from the Church.

Disappointment is a common experience—I’ve been disappointed myself many times.

While I was at the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah, undergoing four weeks of training away from family and friends, I found myself surrounded by strangers in a foreign land. On one occasion in particular, I noticed a clear difference between my level of maturity and engagement compared to the others. They were a few years younger than me, and their testimonies about the Gospel felt less developed than mine. Still, they came from faithful families, and my companions kept receiving packages full of goodies and encouraging notes to support them at the start of their two-year missions.

It became clear to me that they had people who cared deeply for them. I didn’t realize it at first, but this realization made me feel bitter. I started to think that nobody at Church really cared about me. When I thought about my home ward in Montreal, I couldn’t think of anyone who might be worried about me or whether I would continue my mission or leave. I asked myself: What would happen if I left the Church? Who would truly care?

I had friends, yes, but did it really matter to them? My family certainly wouldn’t care whether I stayed on my mission or not. As these thoughts consumed me, I began contemplating leaving the Church, and to my surprise, the idea didn’t scare me much.

That thought shocked me, but I overcame it—with some help though.

Later, I received a package full of goodies from a good friend in Utah. I don’t know if she ever realized how much it meant to me at the time. Her package was the only one I received. She had served a mission in Montreal, where we met when I was a new convert. She probably thought the package might please me—or perhaps she sensed it could sadden me to see others receiving packages while I had nothing. Regardless, that package came at just the right time.

Now, when I think about how close I came to the idea of leaving the Church, it makes me shiver. Later, I also received letters of encouragement from family and friends on various occasions during my mission. It turned out that people did, in fact, care for me.

1 Nephi 4:31-34

And now I, Nephi, being a man large in stature, and also having received much strength of the Lord, therefore I did seize upon the servant of Laban, and held him, that he should not flee.

And it came to pass that I spake with him, that if he would hearken unto my words, as the Lord liveth, and as I live, even so that if he would hearken unto our words, we would spare his life.

And I spake unto him, even with an oath, that he need not fear; that he should be a free man like unto us if he would go down in the wilderness with us.

And I also spake unto him, saying: Surely the Lord hath commanded us to do this thing; and shall we not be diligent in keeping the commandments of the Lord? Therefore, if thou wilt go down into the wilderness to my father thou shalt have place with us.

An oath is “a solemn promise, often invoking a divine witness, regarding one’s future action or behavior” (Oxford Languages). It is a powerful concept. An oath can bind one person to another, but its power depends on the level of trust shared by both parties and must include a promise that resonates with the other person.

In Zoram’s case, Nephi promised that if Zoram would go with them, his life would be spared, he would become a free man, and he would have a place with them. Nephi also assured Zoram that they were fulfilling the Lord’s will by taking the brass plates from his master. Zoram had little choice if he valued his life. Yet, later we learn that Zoram remained a faithful friend to Nephi until the end of his life. I believe this was because Nephi kept his promises. But still, what an awkward way to begin a relationship!

We don’t know much about Zoram, but he might have been from the desert, like Lehi’s family. In such cultures, an oath is considered sacred—something not to be taken lightly.

This story can reflect the way of the Lord. He makes covenants with His followers, promising blessings of great value in His Father’s kingdom. Yet, He allows them the freedom to choose how they live their lives, whether to do good or bad, based on their desires.

I chose to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints because I desired to do good. I wanted to become a better person, and I trusted that Jesus Christ could help me. I believed He knew how to guide me in that transformation. I trusted in His power and decided to give His Church a chance. I wanted the results so badly. I wanted to be free from sin and liberated from Satan’s influence. I had began to recognize the devil’s manipulations, and I felt inexperienced and powerless against them. Each time he tricked me into doing things I wasn’t fully aware of until I saw the consequences for the people around me, it made me feel foolish.

Christ promises us freedom and eternal life if we follow His teachings. We can choose between good and evil. We can choose our master. One liberates us and brings freedom, while the other enslaves us, compelling us to act against our will. Or, we might initially desire what the devil offers, but the consequences are ones we do not want.

When I joined the Church, I focused on the consequences. I submitted my will to God, allowing Him to prevail in my life so that I might someday become a better person. This marked the beginning of a journey of trust—trust in His character and His desire to shape me to be more like Him, through the enticing and sanctifying effects of the Holy Ghost. At first, my trust was based solely on faith, hoping that it was true, without absolute certainty but choosing to rely on God. Now I know that He wants only good for me because He has helped me so much throughout my life. As a result, I trust Him even more to fulfill His promises in the life to come.

1 Nephi 4:35-38

And it came to pass that Zoram did take courage at the words which I spake. Now Zoram was the name of the servant; and he promised that he would go down into the wilderness unto our father. Yea, and he also made an oath unto us that he would tarry with us from that time forth.

Now we were desirous that he should tarry with us for this cause, that the Jews might not know concerning our flight into the wilderness, lest they should pursue us and destroy us.

And it came to pass that when Zoram had made an oath unto us, our fears did cease concerning him.

And it came to pass that we took the plates of brass and the servant of Laban, and departed into the wilderness, and journeyed unto the tent of our father.

I imagine the argument Nephi and his brothers might have had while he held Zoram captive in his arms. They were likely discussing the consequences of Nephi’s actions after Nephi told them what he had done to Laban and how he ended up with Zoram at his side. The discussion must have been charged with great emotion, as they debated what would happen to them now that Nephi had killed Laban. His brothers may have reacted with anger and anxiety, perhaps even accusing him once again of foolishness. And there was Zoram, caught in the middle of this tense exchange, being the very subject of their debate. What were they to do? Kill again?

But as Nephi recorded, Zoram’s oath to “tarry with [them] from that time forth” resolved everything. The fears and tensions vanished—or at least subsided—enough for them to depart and journey to their encampment, away from Jerusalem.

By that same principle, when I made a solemn oath to Heavenly Father—promising to obey His commandments while participating in gospel ordinances performed by authorized priesthood holders, and expressing my belief in Jesus Christ—that sacred oath pleased God. It was sufficient for Him. He forgave and poured out great blessings upon me. As I continued in faith, obeyed more commandments, and sacrificed as God required, I have been protected, guided, and sanctified through the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Zoram became a good friend to Nephi after that. He kept his promise to stay with him for the rest of his life. I made that same promise to God when I accepted baptism in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Before that time in my early life, it was difficult for me to finish what I started. But my promise to God was the one commitment I refused to abandon. I often prayed for strength to keep my faith. I often prayed in tears, pleading with the Lord not to abandon me, and promising Him that I wouldn’t abandon Him. And He stayed by my side all these years. His Spirit has accompanied me through every trial. I have never been left alone. Not once. For that, I am deeply thankful.

When I found myself in the midst of doubts and fears, keeping my promises proved to be invaluable, especially when I no longer knew for sure what to do. I simply stayed the course and waited upon the hand of the Lord to help me with my difficulties. And He always did come to my rescue—without fail. Moreover, it gave me confidence. Thanks to God, I didn’t give up.